Factors that Influence Child Rearing

Child rearing plays a significant role in the all-round development of children. Studies indicate that the development of the 'whole' child- - -physical, mental and emotional, is generally influenced by a wide range of factors. However, most of these influences revolve around parent's personalities, lifestyle, attitudes and values. A balanced combination of these could have a direct bearing on the child's adult years. 

 Experts in the field strongly suggest that all well-meaning parents focus on all of the multiple factors that influence child rearing. Factors like race, religion, culture, genetics, education, environment, economic status and patterns of socialization, can all influence the process of child rearing and have a deep-rooted lifetime impact on children's lives. 

To better understand the full impact of factors that influence child rearing, the writer encourages you to read on: 

  - Family has the most powerful influence on child rearing. The values ingrained, the habits formed and the quality of communication between family members can play a critical role in the early formative years of child development. Indeed, family upbringing could have a lifelong impact on an individual. A lot also depends on how the parents themselves were raised. Parents, who are the product of broken or abusive homes, may not be in a position to make a positive contribution to the entire child rearing process. In such a scenario, parents could have negative influence wherein children could suffer from neglect, abuse or plain indifference. 

  - Social factors do play a prominent role in influencing the child rearing process. Communities, religious and social groups, social norms of behavior and etiquette influence parenting styles and motivate parents to interact with children in different ways. The social status of parents can also influence their child rearing style. Parental aspirations for children may largely be dependent on the families they periodically socialize with. For example, children from families who own fancy cars and latest tech gadgets expect many more good things from life than their less affluent counterparts. 

  - Economic background does have a large influence on child-rearing. It has been found that the quality of child rearing could be negatively affected where parents have to struggle to make ends meet. Although most parents may be able to provide the basic needs to their children, providing quality health care, better schools and homes and other upscale amenities, are all possible by those parents who have a high spending power. It is these parents who tend to offer their children quality extracurricular activities like taking  expensive music lessons, art classes or special coaching classes in sports. 

 - Educational background of parents also influences the direction which child rearing takes. Highly educated parents tend to focus more on providing the best possible education to their children than parents who are uneducated. Educated parents understand the importance of education and spare no expense in enrolling their children into prestigious schools and colleges. They also take time to actively monitor and guide their children in the pursuit of their academic goals. 

 - Conclusion 

Although all the above enumerated factors influence the child rearing practices, psychologists strongly believe that every parent can yield the most profound influence on their children's lives. It is they, who have the unique privilege and responsibility of raising children to become successful adults. It is their vision, interest and time, their determination and their loving guidance that can make it possible for parents despite their circumstances, to raise responsible, productive and well-adjusted children. 

Courtesy: http://fabulously40.com/blog/id/factors-that-influence-child-rearing-24192

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Bringing up children

Raising a child is the hardest, most responsible and satisfying task a human being can face. It's also the job for which people receive the least formal training.
Each person's knowledge of how to bring up a child usually comes from their surroundings and their own upbringing. This may result in patterns from the parent's own social experiences being repeated and passed on to their children.

Parents are role models

Parents are the most influential role models children are likely to have. Parents who pay compliments and show respect, kindness, honesty, friendliness, hospitality and generosity to their children will encourage them to behave in the same way.
Parents should express their unconditional love for their children, as well as provide them with the continued support they need to become self-assured and happy.
It's also important that parents set reasonable expectations for their children and tell them in plain words what they expect from them.

Why is discipline necessary?

Discipline is crucial when bringing up a child. All children need and want reasonable boundaries. Through discipline your child learns that some kinds of behaviour are acceptable and others are not. Setting boundaries for children's behaviour helps them to learn how to behave in society.
Discipline is difficult to deal with because it demands consistency. Being a parent is a 24-hour job. The rules have to apply every day.
Inconsistency and lack of discipline create confused and rootless children – who will test their parents constantly to find out what the world is all about. This is why parents, who put in the effort every day to provide consistent boundaries to their children, will (eventually!) end up with better behaved kids.

Spending enough time with your children

A child's greatest need is quality time with their parents.
Finding time to spend together as a family can be difficult. In many households, parents have to go to work, which limits the time they have to spend with their children. In addition, children are involved in school and other activities.
Try to arrange a time each day, such as during breakfast or dinner, when the entire family can be together. Fixed routines are important for children.
It's also a good idea for everyone to get together and talk. Mealtimes provide a perfect opportunity to chat about the events of the day. Everybody should take part in the conversation: parents should pay attention and show interest in whatever their children say.
Make it a family rule that everyone eats together and stays at the table, at least until everyone has finished eating. This encourages them not to rush their food – but more importantly it gives an opportunity for conversation.
Children like to have special days reserved for special activities. For example, Thursday afternoon at the library with Dad, or Friday night swimming with Mum. Such rituals and routines build strong families.
Encourage your children to take part in planning activities. It's good for a family to do a variety of fun things together, such as playing games and going to the movies or concerts.

What will good communication teach children?

Offering explanations will help children work matters out for themselves. Take time to point out how things are connected, for example, in terms of cause and effect.
Parents, who think out loud with their children, will see them develop a similar train of thought. They will learn to talk and think in a more sophisticated way.
If parents express emotions and feelings, their children will learn it's okay to do the same.
When your children want to talk or ask questions, encourage them. If you're dismissive, or always say you're too busy, they may express frustration and stop wanting to share their thoughts and feelings.
If the family has a problem that concerns your child, involve them in the discussion. Try to find possible solutions together with him or her.
When discussing options, also talk about consequences. The possible outcome will influence your final decision. Be open to the child's suggestions. Let them take part in the negotiations and the decision.
A child who experiences this kind of communication will become confident and learn the rules of good communication.

Courtesy: Reviewed by Dr Stuart Crisp,consultant pediatrician

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When your child wants to eat everything in sight

Looking back, I should have known the first time my son’s jaw clamped tightly around my breast without guidance or prodding. “Oh my, he knows what to do with that!” the nurse exclaimed, as I looked on with a mix of wonderment and terror. This was indeed the beginning of Anthony’s gluttonous ways. 

Other hints came along the way, like the countdown to the loud sucking slurp of air as he gulped the last drop of milk telling me he was finished, and yet not so finished since I had to wrestle the bottle out of his mouth. “That’s it, you’re done!” I would yell, frustrated over not being able to produce enough milk to satiate his appetite. Months later, when I complained to the pediatrician that he was still waking up in the middle of the night for a feeding, she said he just had to unlearn the middle-of-the-night feeding pattern. I was to give him water instead of milk to trick him into thinking it wasn’t worth waking up for. Well, that first attempt of trickery ended with him guzzling the water bottle dry in his usual tempo, except he wouldn’t go back to sleep because he was still hungry. 

Maybe it had nothing to do with learned behaviour. Maybe genes were to blame for his voracious appetite. Shortly after giving birth, my father cradled his first grandchild and beamed proudly over the nine-pound bundle. As he rocked him back and forth, he repeated a phrase that would foretell their favourite pastime. “Waaaait, you just wait and see what we’re going to eat together when you grow up!” 

It got better, and worse, in that first year of his life. His appetite was more easily satiated when he began eating solid food, but then the problem shifted. Every time he saw someone eating, his eyes grew wide and he howled for a piece of the action. I resorted to hiding behind kitchen cupboards to eat and peeking over the edge to make sure he hadn’t moved within closer range. 

Then it got scary. Once during supper, he played happily with his spaghetti, squashing it in his fists and shoving it into his mouth. After the pasta, he gobbled some salad and let out a loud cough. Then his face turned splotchy blue and he stopped breathing. I sat frozen and shocked for a few harrowing seconds as I waited for my brain to catch up and tell me what to do. Before I could react, a piece of wilted lettuce projected out of his mouth onto the tray of his high chair. Without a whimper or a tear, his plump fist snatched the exhausted piece of lettuce and stuffed it back in his mouth before anyone could take it away. Even in the face of suffocation, the kid still wanted to eat! 

Eventually, somewhere during the terrible hungry twos, I knew for certain this food obsession wasn’t another growth spurt or a passing phase. I awoke in the middle of the night to hear him crying out. Dazed from sleep, I wasn’t sure I’d heard right. But there was no denying it when he repeated it a second time. As he tossed about in his sleep, he yelled out in a demanding voice: “I want a bagel with A LOT of cream cheese!” Yes, the poor child was consumed by food even in his dreams. 

As he got older, I worried that he would grow up to be overweight because of his appetite. At every annual check-up I shared my concern about his humongous appetite with his doctor. Although tall for his age, his weight began to creep over the height-weight balance he had managed to maintain in his growth chart. The pediatrican said his weight could become an issue if we weren’t careful. She advised me to limit treats to special occasions and up his physical activities. Treats weren’t the problem as I already limited their availability; it was the portion size of his meals that worried me. I tried to control it when he was home but I couldn’t police everything he put in his mouth. I decided to teach him some of the tricks I used to make healthy eating choices. I taught him to read the serving size on packaged snacks, so that he knew a cookie snack meant two or three cookies, not a stack as tall as the milk glass. Ultimately, he wanted to know where on the nutrition label it said how long before you could have another serving. 

I needed allies in this battle, so I enlisted my parents’ help when he went for a visit or a sleepover; they promised to enforce good eating habits. The problem was they were simply in awe when they put a plate of food in front of him; watching him eat was part of their pleasure, and eating was his. They were co-dependents in this battle with food. When I asked Anthony if his grandparents gave him snacks when they shouldn’t have, he said, “What snacks? You know they don’t buy the kind of snacks I like. When I ask them for a snack, it’s epic meal time!” 

I shared my concerns with other parents hoping to find answers or solace in those with the same worries. Did other parents feel like the food police? How did they know if they were doing enough to make sure their kids ate well? Was everyone worried like me? I noticed most parents were quick to lament how much their children preferred sugary snacks over a plate of veggies but the conversation usually strayed from there, especially when their child was obviously overweight. Instead, parents used cutesy phrases like ‘overactive taste buds’ or ‘future food critic’ and dismissed my worries with assumptions like, ‘don’t worry, it’s baby fat’ or ‘it will resolve itself as he grows.’ It was rare to find a parent of a ravenous eater who readily admitted my inner fear: Would my kid grow up to be overweight? 

One parent, whose son’s size and tastes matched my son’s, admitted her messages of balanced eating missed the mark time and again. Her son understood that fresh fruit was better than a bag of chips, but his version of balance was snacking on cherries while dipping every second one in Nutella. When I asked what her pediatrican thought, she confessed, “I stopped taking my kids to the pediatrican after he told me they were fat. He told me right in front of my daughter (who was 10 at the time) and she refused to go back!” This made me wonder about some doctors’ bedside manner but also if maybe some parents didn’t notice or admit their child was at an unhealthy weight. Add the sobering childhood obesity statistics to the mix, and how’s a parent of a ravenous eater supposed to cope? 

Children obviously come in different shapes and sizes and grow at different rates, but generally changes in height and weight follow a regular pattern as they grow. I realized helping Anthony tame his appetite was going to take time and lots of patience, especially since research shows that the longer a child remains overweight, the chances are that he or she will carry this weight into adulthood. 

Back at our house, the hours after supper were a combination of winding down and winding up. A bedtime snack was always followed by reading together, or him playing while I wrote in my journal. Once, I asked if he wanted me to write something in my journal for him. He rolled his eyes upward as he reflected. “Yeah sure, write that I’m hungry.” Although I laughed aloud, he was serious. 

His passion for food wasn’t limited to what he put in his mouth, it spilled over into his descriptions, so a simple query of “What do you want for breakfast?” was met with “Two eggs sunny side up, yolks that dunk like quicksand and a glass of orange burst juice… please?” I can’t recall how many times I’ve been declared the world’s best mom at the kitchen table. 

Food and weight gain were a recurring struggle up until he went to high school. His passion for all things edible didn’t change, but by 14 he had shot up to a robust height just shy of six feet. I still fathom at his size since he’s the product of average-sized parents. In some ways, it’s a consolation for all the worry and fighting that centered around eating, but more importantly, I know that my watchfulness has paid off. Now, he’s more aware and concerned of the fuel he puts in his body and the eating choices he makes. 

When I mention maybe turning his passion into a profession by becoming a gourmet chef, he replies, “I’d rather be a food taster, that way, I’d get paid to eat.” 



Courtesy: Voula Plagakis

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How to cope when your child has a seizure from fever

In January 2012, I was flying home from Dubai with my husband and our two daughters. We had just settled into our 14-hour flight to Toronto. Our two-and-a-half-year-old was content watching a movie and our 14-month-old, Amelia, was asleep on my chest. It was smooth sailing, until Amelia vomited. That’s when I realized that her eyes were glassy, she was burning up, shaking and unresponsive. As my husband called for a flight attendant, the situation quickly escalated; Amelia was now violently convulsing and foaming at the mouth. The plane was over water, there was no way out. We thought we were going to lose our baby. It was the longest fi ve minutes of my life and Amelia’s only febrile seizure to date. 

Children who have a febrile seizure are generally healthy kids, Amelia just happened to react to this particular fever in a drastic manner. 

Febrile seizures are episodes of uncontrollable jerking movements that are provoked by a fever, typically occurring without warning as the fever begins to spike. Children who have a history of febrile seizures can seize at any fever over 38°C. Approximately one in every 25 children between six months and five years will have one febrile seizure. About 30 percent of these children will have subsequent ones. 

“Febrile seizures are most common in the second year of life, peaking at 18 months of age,” says Dr. Elizabeth Donner, pediatric neurologist at SickKids Hospital in Toronto and associate professor at the University of Toronto. Although there is no known cause for febrile seizures, there appears to be a strong genetic component. While terrifying, they are often short and harmless, and kids usually bounce back quickly from a single, typical febrile seizure. Most febrile seizures last less than fi ve minutes, says Dr. Donner. However, if the seizure lasts longer than fi ve minutes, call an ambulance right away. 

Your child will be drowsy and confused after the seizure so let him or her sleep. Treat the fever, keep the child well hydrated and avoid heavy blankets. Take the child to a doctor as soon as possible; the doctor will want to determine the cause of the fever and will want you to describe the seizure. How long did it last? How did the child look and move? The doctor will also likely ask you about the child’s development. All of this information will help the doctor to determine the type of febrile seizure and help rule out any other brain dysfunction. 

Once the fever breaks, give yourself and your child a day on the couch; you both deserve it. And try to find solace in knowing that not every fever will result in a febrile seizure and that your child will outgrow it.

When febrile seizures strike

• Remain calm. 
• Check the time so you have a rough idea of how long the seizure lasts. 
• Keep the child safe by clearing the area and rolling the child gently on the side, or at least turning their head to the side so that fluid can drain from the mouth. 
• Place something soft under the child’s head. 
• Loosen tight clothing (especially around the neck) and remove glasses. 
• Never restrain the child or place anything in the mouth (they will not swallow their tongue). 
• Never submerge the child in water or give the child medication, unless instructed to do so by a doctor. You have to wait it out. It will stop.

Risks factors for subsequent febrile seizures: 

1. Family history of febrile seizure 
2. Have a first febrile seizure before the age of 18 months 
3. Having a seizure very soon after the onset of fever (within one hour) 
4. Moderate fever at the time of the seizure (between 39°C to 40°C)

Courtesy:  Pamela Mazzuca

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Good Night Sleep Site can help toddlers having trouble sleeping

I read somewhere that a person will die from lack of sleep, before they die from lack of food. Interesting bit of trivia or accurate fact? As any new parent can attest to, when you’re exhausted taking care of a newborn, you’ll choose sleep over a meal any day.

Once my husband and I settled into somewhat of a “routine” after bringing our newborn daughter home from the hospital, friends and family started asking the famous question: “How is she sleeping?”

We were very, very fortune (knock on wood) to have a “good sleeper.” Perhaps it was due to her above average birth weight (nine pounds and one ounce), inherited genes from her mother who loves to sleep or maybe the sleep gods took pity upon our new family and gave us a break. Whatever the reason, I can honestly say we have been fairly fortunate, so far, in being blessed with a little one who sleeps well. And my hope is that by writing these words I have not jinxed our good fortune.

For parents who have become walking zombies and are pretty much at their wits end with how to help their baby sleep better, I can tell you there is help for you!

Good Night Sleep Site can provide you with emotional and educational support to help your baby or toddler with their sleep needs. Their philosophy is that there isn’t one method to sleep training and we don't choose one over another. 

Their certified sleep consultants work with you and your family to set up a sleep plan that you are comfortable with to help your baby or toddler become a great sleeper. 

Whether you are a first time parent, a been-there-done-that parent or a parent of multiples, they can help. 

Sleep is so important for our health, mood and general well-being that seeking outside help when your baby or toddler is struggling to sleep well is a necessity. 



Courtesy: Carrie Kelley

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Some germs can be good for your baby

When my kids were babies, I remember being obsessive about ensuring everyone – including their dad – had properly washed or sanitized their hands before handling my precious little bundles. Some of my friends were even more protective. 

But as my boys grew older, and began eating things like dirt and boogers – and attending daycare where there was rarely a child without a runny nose – I began to wonder if I needed to be so stringent. According to Dr. Dina Kulik, a pediatrician and emergency medicine doctor who works at Kindercare Paediatrics and SickKids hospital in Toronto, babies can benefit from germs. 

“Regular germs are actually good for babies,” she says. “Children who are kept in too sterile an environment actually have higher risks of asthma and allergies than kids exposed to a ‘non sterile’ environment. Exposure to bacteria and viruses allow our immune system to grow, so we can better protect ourselves from harmful organisms.” 

She also points out that excessive hand washing and sanitizing depletes the natural healthy and good bacteria from your skin. “These good bacteria help keep the bad bacterial levels at low levels. If you kill off too much good bacteria, bad bacteria have a chance to overpopulate,” says Dr. Kulik. 

But hand washing isn’t the only way that babies are exposed to good germs. According to a recent pediatric study, bacteria can also be transferred to infants via pacifiers. The study found that children whose parents “cleaned” their pacifier by sucking it were less likely to have asthma, eczema and sensitization at 18 months of age than children whose parents did not lick their child’s pacifier clean. In this case, the study concluded that parental sucking of their infant’s pacifier may reduce these effects, possibly by transferring microbes to their infant by saliva, enabling them to build immunity. 

Some caution, however, is warranted. Premature babies and young newborns have very immature immune systems. They haven’t yet been exposed to many bacteria or viruses and are more at risk of bad infections. “For these populations, I would be more cautious about exposure to pets and sick contacts. However, over time it’s important to gradually expose infants to people and pets. This will help build their immune system,” she says. 

As they get older, children will naturally be exposed to more germs. “Young children have an average of 13 viral illnesses per year, so a persistent runny nose is normal in a young child,” says Dr. Kulik. “As a result, young children are surrounded by viral infections from their peers all the time. This is very hard to avoid.” 

Over time, as their immune system recognizes these viruses, it can fight against them more easily. “That’s why adults often get fewer infections per year than a two-year-old.”

Dr. Kulik suggests keeping the following tips in mind:

• Don’t purposely expose kids to viral infections, but don’t overprotect them from viral exposures, either.
• Vaccines prevent against many serious infections. This is the best defense against significant illnesses that can cause death.
• As always, if your child is unwell, he/she should be seen by their healthcare provider.
• Ask your physician for more tips for building a strong immune system.

Courtesy:  Erin Dym

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Next steps: Baby’s transition to toddlerhood

The phrase, “Don’t blink or you’ll miss it” is the perfect way to describe your baby’s transition to toddlerhood.

One moment, your little one is an infant who naps endlessly, and the next, you’re chasing your toddler through the house. With this rapid developmental growth (physical and behavioural), try to be prepared by staying one step ahead. Don’t wait until your child has outgrown their baby gear. Keep your home stocked with items for your child’s next stage.

One of the most important items to purchase early is a car seat. Infant carseats only last so long and it is unsafe to have your baby in a too-small seat. Do some research. Some carseats can hold a child up to 65 pounds, whereas others only go to 40 pounds (or less). It is also recommended to keep your little one in a rear-facing seat for as long as safely possible.

Here’s a list of must-haves for your growing child:

Diapers
Outgrowing diapers can cause messes you definitely want to avoid. Have a box of next-size diapers available. You might be sorry if you don’t.

Clothes
One day, your baby is swimming in a sleeper and the next, you’re having trouble doing up the buttons. Invest in some larger sleepers, onesies and t-shirts and keep them on hand, just in case.

Developmental toys
At first, an infant can be entertained by just about any random household item. But as they grow, babies need more mental stimulation. It’s always fun to pull out a new and exciting toy to play with.

Feeding accessories
Bottles and nipples are suited for specific stages. Keep your cupboards full of next-stage items. You might want to grab some sippy cups and toddler-friendly plates, bowls and utensils while you’re at it. And don’t forget the highchair.

Courtesy: http://www.parentscanada.com/toddler/next-steps-baby-s-transition-to-toddlerhood

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